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The most important reason why we need the word “cis” in our lexicon is because it tells the thousands of young trans people out there right now who are struggling with their sense of identity, some of whom do not even realise yet that that is what they are doing, that there is something that you can be that is not what you were told you could be.
I did not know the word “cis” when I was 8 years old, imitating the handwriting of the girls in my class. I did not possess this language when I was 15, and attempting to put on makeup in secret without the guidance of my mother or my aunts, and copying the clothing styles of the girls in my high school. I did not have this language when I was 24, with hair down to my waist, wearing my girlfriend’s clothes to work. I did not have this language at 33 years old, before I proposed to my wife, or at 37, when we decided to have a child before we got any older.
I didn’t even know this language at 40, when I finally understood that the days of my life were not going to be many more in number if I did not attempt to find out if the feelings I had been feeling all my life would lead me to a better life.
But I certainly knew the word “transsexual”. I knew the words, “Renée Richards” and “Wendy Carlos”. I knew the word “freak”. I knew the word “mutilation”. I knew the words “liver damage”. I knew the words “shorter life span”. I knew the words “no children”. I knew the word “faggot”.
We need the word “cis”, because those children need to know that their choices aren’t limited, not anymore. Those children need to know that the alternative to “man” isn’t “freak” and the alternative to “woman” isn’t “abomination”. Those children need to know that “abnormal” means “statisically fewer in number”, not “unnatural”.
We need the word “cis”, because all the children of this Earth need to know that “cis” is just one thing you can be, and not what you necessarily are."
Most girls are relentlessly told that we will be treated how we demand to be treated. If we want respect, we must respect ourselves.
This does three things. Firstly, it gets men off the hook for being held accountable for how they treat women. And secondly, it makes women feel that the mistreatment and sometimes outright violence they face due to their gender is primarily their fault. And thirdly, it positions women to be unable to speak out against sexism because we are made to believe any sexism we experience would not have happened if we had done something differently.
I cannot demand a man to respect me. No more than I can demand that anybody do anything. I can ask men to be nice to me. But chances are if I even have to ask he does not care to be nice. I can express displeasure when I’m not being respected. But that doesn’t solve the issue that I was disrespected in the first place.
I can choose to not deal with a man once he proves to be disrespectful and/or sexist. But even that does not solve the initial problem of the fact that I had to experience being disrespected in the first place.
As a young girl, I wish that instead of being told that I needed to demand respect from men that I had been told that when I am not respected by men that it’s his fault and not mine. But that would require that we quit having numerous arbitrary standards for what it means to be a “respectable” woman. It would mean that I am not judged as deserving violence based on how I speak, what I wear, what I do, and who I am."
i dont want a job i just want paychecks
Sleepover Friday - fun size
- send me fuck, marry, kiss’s
- ask my top 3 of anything
- send me a 6 word story that i have to finish with 6 words
- make me choose between two things
- send me celebrities for hot or not
- confess shit
- ask for my (terrible) advice
- gossip about relationships or crushes or whatever
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